Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
