All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it because I queefed?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
