Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
