I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize