It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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