So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
