I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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