So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
