Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
