I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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