I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
