One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were trust falling into bushes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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