it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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