This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
