I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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