If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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