Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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