I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
