I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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