I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
