Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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