Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
