but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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