piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
