sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just gargled with NyQuil
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
