i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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