you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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