i don't like sucking hair
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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