Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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