so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
