i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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