Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
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Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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