margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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