I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
