You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
we should paint friendship bongs
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