i permit you to call me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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