how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is that strawberry winking at me??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
