oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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