hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The air was thick with penises
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize