um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My liver just had a heart attack.
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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