During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
organizing the empties. That sober.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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