No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize