hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize