the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
