Do vagina's smell?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
