Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
