She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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