When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
