Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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