it was like eating out sand paper
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
where are my eyebrows?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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