cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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