1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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