My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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